Update.....



Firstly, I guess you can say I've been quiet in regards to the blogging world as well as social media like Twitter and Instagram and that isn't because I don't enjoy it or that I can't be bothered but because since my last post I've been away in America, promoted at work, working and sleeping and trying to make my relationship work! I'm terribly confused with how my life is going and what I expect life to be at my age of 24 but I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I'm okay with that and I wasn't for quite some time.

As corny as it sounds since I have been away letting 'life happen' I've never felt so alone and out of control in order to reach 'happiness' since I've been away - I'm sure we all know somebody who is suffering with a mental illness and although I suffer quite terribly with eating issues, anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of isolation, I adore how individuality is becoming more acceptable in the whole social networking community and we are being more honest and open about these kinds of issues.
Various different bloggers have saved me.. It isn't about wanting to look or be like talentless celebs and obsessing over unrealistic lifestyles.. Its becoming more and more about being a normal girl and having a normal life, suffering with feeling unhappy and happy and thats ok!
I want to be a youtuber, I want to write more, I want to be someone that can make even the slight difference to someone's day by expressing how I feel, what I'm wearing, what I'm doing with my life. Even if it creates an idea, enlightens or even inspires that for me is a big deal and I hope to be able to try and deliver that!

So, the picture of me is standing at the side of the road in The Big Sur, California and that trip was the best time of my life. Although the post is a long time coming, I want to be able to create more trips like it! I remember by simply looking at this picture what I was thinking and how I felt.. I didn't have to hold a pose, tense my stomach, groom my hair.. My hair was unwashed, I through on any old clothes and my boyfriend took a picture of me walking back to the car from the bridge. I haven't even uploaded the 'purpose-outfit' pictures on to anything yet and although I will on a later, more in-depth  post I feel like this picture as I update you on my life feels more fitting..

Now that I'm a visual Merchandiser and I'm definitely working towards the direction of styling/design - I still don't know what I want to do with my life and it shouldn't worry me like it does. My sister told me that one day I will look back and think about the things that I did with my life rather than the things that I didn't and that is definitely something I have began focus on.

Yes I will always care about my weight, yes I will always worry about my career but I have to remember that there will always be someone who is thinner, more successful, more fashionable and more happy and that's life... This life was given to me so that's all I can be.. me.